Mar 21, 2010

Smiling Angel Food Cake

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If you were to eat an Angel, what would he taste like?  No one knows for sure, but my guess is it would taste very much like this cake.  It’s simply heavenly!

Perfect for Church functions, Bake Sales, or Grandma’s Wake… this cake is sure to please everyone’s needs.  Including the Lord himself (who might very well know what an Angel tastes like!)

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 cup Cake Flour

1 ½ cup Sugar

10 Egg Whites

1 tsp. Cream of Tartar

1 tsp. Vanilla

1 tsp. Almond extract

Directions:

1-   Sift together cake flour with ½ cup of the sugar.  Sift this 4 times (don’t cheat).  Hold.

2-   In a mixing bowl - whip the egg whites with salt and cream of tartar until foamy.

3-   Continue whipping the egg whites and add 1 cup of sugar just a little at a time until all used up and egg whites are firm peaks, but not dry.

4-   Fold in the vanilla and almond extracts.

5-   Remove the mixing bowl from beaters and sift the flour mixture one more time over and into the egg whites.

6-   Fold in the flour gradually, pulling from the center bottom and up and over.

7-   Pour into a 10-inch tube pan, cut through to remove any bubbles.

8-   Bake in a 300F oven for 45-55 minutes.

9-   Remove from the oven and turn upside down over a bottle or jar (the top of the cake should not touch, it needs the air to cool and being upside down keeps the cake from sinking) until cooled.

10- Run a knife around the inside edges and turn cake out onto a platter.

 
 
 

Mar 20, 2010

My Brownies

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I don’t know about you, but I cannot resist a good old-fashioned brownie.  Last week, I attended a function and nearly finished off a whole pan all by my lonesome.

After the first brownie, I was feeling pretty good.  After the second brownie, I laughed so hard, I nearly tinkled.  After the third brownie, the fire department was called and I had to be tricked into coming out of the bathroom!

Well, needless to say, these are not those brownies.  But, then again… it’s up to you.  Mum’s the word!

3 squares Baking Chocolate

1/3 cup Shortening

¾ cup Cake Flour (sifted)

1 tsp. Baking Powder

2 Eggs (beaten)

1 cup Sugar

1 tsp. Vanilla

1-   Melt chocolate with shortening and cool

2-   Sift together flour, baking powder and salt

3-   In another bowl, beat eggs and sugar till pale yellow

4-   Add chocolate to eggs and stir well

5-   Add flour mixture to chocolate/egg mixture.  Stir in vanilla (and nuts optionally)

6-   Pour batter in 8x8” greased pan.

7-   Bake for 30 minutes in 300F-preheated oven.

8-   Cool before cutting.  (Will be chewy, don’t overcook.)

 
 
 

Mar 19, 2010

Toasted Coconut Macaroons

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I got this recipe from some neighbors down the street, Saul and Ida Nagelman.  They’ve yet to show up for church, if you know what I mean.  Wink!  Wink!  Wink Wink!

They’re perfectly nice people, and I can’t be sure, but I think Ida wears a wig.  I can’t see why we won’t soon be good friends with the Nagelmans.  It’s just going to take a little time.

Here’s what you’ll need:

2 Egg Whites

½ tsp. Vanilla

1 cup Sugar

1 ½ cups Flaked Coconut (unsweetened)

Directions:

1-   Beat egg whites with sugar and vanilla just till soft peaks.

2-   Mix in coconut.

3-   Drop by teaspoonful or form into 1 ½ inch shapes with fingers onto a parchment covered baking pan.  Keep about 2 inches apart.

4-   Bake for 20 minutes in a 325F oven.

5-   Cool on rack

 
 
 

Mar 18, 2010

Rum Rice Pudding

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Here we go rummaging around in the liquor cabinet again, Girls.  Do what you must, but never forget… he’ll be home at 6:30!

This snazzy little desert is just the trick if you think it’s high time your family increases from seven to eight!

Top off any meal with this sweet-n-creamy delight.  Then close that bedroom door for a little “delight” of your own.  Wink!

Which reminds me, perhaps tonight’s the night to break out those new false eyelashes you bought at the local five-and-dime.

What you’ll need:

¼ cup Uncooked Rice

½ cup Sugar

4 cups Milk

½ cup Raisins

½ cup Rum

dash of nutmeg

Directions:

1-   Butter 8x8” baking dish

2-   In a small bowl soak the raisins in the rum for at least 1 hour. Drain the raisins.

3-   In a Med. Bowl combine the rice, sugar, milk and drained raisins. Pour into the baking dish.

4-   Sprinkle with fresh grated nutmeg.

5-   Bake for 3 hours in a 300F-preheated oven.  Turn mixture over every 30 minutes.

 
 
 

Mar 17, 2010

Butter Crusted Scalloped Tomatoes

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Yes, they say that tomatoes are the “Food of Love”.  But a dollop of butter and even the friskiest Mister will fall fast asleep.  So, you won’t have to worry about any pesky monkey-business in the bedroom the night you serve up this dish, Ladies!

This dish is Easy-Peasy!  It bakes by itself in the oven, giving you plenty of time to clip those coupons, catch up on your stories or find your middle child!

Bon Appetite!

Here’s what you’ll need:

2 ½ cups Tomatoes

2 Tbls. Chopped Onions

2 Tbls. Sugar

1 cup (soft) Bread Crumbs

2 Tbls. Butter (melted) plus more for pan

2 Tbls. grated Parmesan cheese

Salt/pepper

Directions:

1-   Butter an 8x8” baking dish

2-   In a bowl, combine tomatoes, onions, sugar and salt & pepper – Pour into the baking dish.

3-   In the bowl, toss breadcrumbs in the melted butter, then top the baking dish with these.

4-   Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese

5-   Bake for 25 minutes in preheated 400F oven.

 
 
 

Mar 16, 2010

Candied Sweet Potatoes

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Want to get Hubby to put down his Martini and stop thinking about his new Spanish secretary, Miss Gallegos?  Serve up these delectable tubers, and you’re sure to grab his attention.  At least long enough to tell him about that new pair of earrings you want!

One taste of these spuds and it’ll be “Adios, Ms. Gallegos and your Shakin’ Maracas!”  They’re a treat from nature we’re going to cover with stuff so they taste like candy!

Here’s what you’ll need:

4 Sweet Potatoes (Medium)

3 Tbls. Butter

½ cup Brown Sugar

Salt/pepper

2 Tbls. Water

Directions:

1-   Boil Sweet Potatoes till soft.

2-   Drain, peel and cut in half

3-   Melt butter in sauté pan, add brown sugar and cook on low/med till syrupy.

4-   Add potatoes, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and brown on all sides.

5-   Add 2 Tbls. water, turn to low, cover and cook for about 10 minutes.

 
 
 

Mar 15, 2010

Broiled Lamb Patties w/Thyme

Recipe Box

What’s more American than eating baby sheep?  Why, eating baby sheep in the shape of a hamburger, of course!

Here’s a tasty twist on a Red, White and Blue tradition that’s sure to set flags a’wavin’ and the Shriners a’marchin’.

Perfect for a picnic, backyard barbeque or 4-H potluck!  (As long as the children aren’t raising a prize-winning sheep.)

What you’ll need:

1 ½ lbs. Ground Lamb

6 Bacon slices

2 tsp. Thyme

salt/pepper

Directions:

1-   Mix together the Lamb, thyme, salt & pepper

2-   Shape into patties about 1 ½ inches thick.

3-   Wrap a slice of bacon around each patty

4-   Place on a broiler pan and broil about 6 inches from the heat for about 6 minutes till browned.

5-   Turn and brown on other side (about 5-6 minutes) till meat is done to preference.

6-   Serve on a bun with a dollop of mint jelly

 
 
 

Mar 15, 2010

Ask Alice

DEAR ALICE,

Recently, I’ve grown concerned as my only grandson has displayed an intense dislike for all things athletic.  He enjoys sewing machines, tap dancing and the occasional Hula-hoop.  Please settle a bet:  My husband says he’s a homosexual.  I’m praying he’s not.  A dinner at Barnabeez is riding on this.

Signed,

Grandma with Gay Grandson is Grand Rapids


Dear Grandma,

Give yourself a sigh of relief.  Homosexuality is often a passing phase for all young men as they enter adolescence.  There is a young man living in my home who many believe to be a gay.  But I know, deep in my heart, he is no more a homosexual than he is a Democrat.  Time will bear out.

In the meantime, try introducing him to the little known sport of “Burling” (log-rolling) or the macho films of Montgomery Clift.  If that doesn’t make him a straight shooter, there are a wide variety of reputable Christian organizations that really take care of business.

For now, I think Hubby owes you a little din-din at Barnabeez.  Try the Cod-Mountain…  It’s a delicious tower of imitation fish!

All the best,

Alice

 
 
 

Mar 14, 2010

Ask Alice

DEAR ALICE,

I’m a happily married woman with two kids and a high-paying job as a floor manager for a major department store.  It’s the kind of life one normally wouldn’t mess with.  And that’s why I’m writing you.

Lately, a co-worker, let’s call him Greg and his friend Al in hardware have been making suggestive comments and overtures that the three of us get a hotel and have a little after work tete-a-tete-a-tete.

At first I was a little nervous, but then I spoke with my co-worker Sally in the hosiery department and now she wants to come.


So my question to you, Alice:  How do I tell Sally no?

Signed,

Titillated Twice in Tuskaloosa


Dear Titillated,

What is it with women today that they would besmirch the sanctity of marriage and forsake the loyal men they pledge their hearts to?

You have a husband who loves you, and children, which is more than I can say.  I’d gladly trade places with a woman in your position.  Stop taking for granted the man who provides for you, who puts food on your table and a roof over your head.  Not to mention the children who look to you for inspiration and guidance.  Your new pals Greg and Al may look attractive now, but how will you and your children get by trying to live on three department store salaries?

I suggest you seek immediate counseling from your pastor.  Sometimes those who turn toward sin have turned away from the Lord, who has already given them so much.

One final thought, tell Sally to mind her bee’s wax.  I’m sure there’s plenty of work that needs to be done in the hosiery department.


God Bless,

Alice

 
 
 

Mar 14, 2010

Garlic & Paprika Roasted Chicken

Recipe Box

Why did the chicken cross the road?  Why, to be covered in Garlic and Paprika, of course!  Here’s a quick and easy way to turn boring, old chicken into a swingin’ affair!  One bite and you’ll swear Louis Prima himself is playing the trumpet in your mouth!  

Here’s what you’ll need:

3 Garlic cloves (peeled & chopped)

2 tsp. salt

3-5lb. Whole Chicken

2 Tbls. Olive oil

1 Tbls. Paprika

salt/pepper

Direction:

1- Wash & pat dry the chicken for roasting.

2- In a small bowl, use the back of a spoon and rub the garlic and salt together till it forms a paste.

3- Sprinkle salt & pepper into the chicken cavity.

4- Rub the whole chicken with the garlic paste, and sprinkle with paprika.

5- Place chicken on lined baking pan and drizzle with olive oil.

6- Roast the chicken in oven 325F for 25 minutes-per-pound.

Baste now and then.

 
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